


Hey, Brother

by CharlieRoseHooper



Category: Supernatural
Genre: And probably therapy, Angels, Castiel (Supernatural) is Not Okay, Castiel (Supernatural)'s Loss of Grace, Castiel Needs a Hug, Castiel is sad, Fallen Angels, Gen, I Tried, Implied Relationships, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2020-07-09 01:09:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19879114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieRoseHooper/pseuds/CharlieRoseHooper
Summary: Basically I just feel that Castiel is not as hardened towards his other siblings as we are lead to believe."Are you satisfied now?" he asks.





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel feels empty as he slaughters another one of his brothers. It doesn't mean anything to him anymore, after all what's one compared to thousands. Removing the blade from the not quite rotting corpse he turns to Dean. 

"Are you satisfied now?" he asks. 

Dean grimaces, "Thanks for the help, and hello to you too buddy." 

Castiel says nothing in reply but stares vacantly at the charred wings on the ground. He still remembers when he used to fight alongside his siblings instead of against them. 

Sometimes he wants to shake Dean and ask,"What if this was Sam? Could you call me so easily then to dispatch your own brother?" 

But he does not, because he already knows the answer. Dean would never give up on Sam not in a million alternate dimensions and certainly not in this one. Castiel's eyes shift back on to Dean as he slowly stands and groans. “God, I'm not as young as I used to be anymore I can't keep getting thrown into walls all the time." 

Castiel does not comment on the fact that he is several billions of years older than Dean instead asking, "Where's Sam?"

Sam stands up from behind the counter of the restaurant. "Right here, sorry. Thanks for the hand Cas."

Castiel glances at the two injuries a bruised eye and a cut on the forehead respectively. He hopes it is nothing more serious than surface level scrapes. While earlier he could've healed such minor injuries these days he barely has enough Grace to fly.

As his brother is dead and the Winchesters are safe he goes to leave when he hears Dean call out, "So that's it then? You take care of the threat and then leave?"

Castiel can barely contain his seething contempt for Dean who forced him into another impossible decision, but he states flatly "Yes, you are safe now. I do not feel as though my continued presence is required." 

Dean claps him on the back and with an easy grin says, "Wanted not required. Why don't you have a couple beers with Sam and I?"

And with that the rage dims inside of Castiel as he realizes that the brothers do not understand the inner turmoil that is battling within his Grace. He hates them for that, just a little as he feels that they should. After all those two broke and remade the world for each other, do they not understand he would do the same for any one of his siblings?

Castiel shakes off Dean's arm and simply states, "I'm needed elsewhere." As he flies off he can still make out Sam's bewildered expression.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, thanks for continually reading! Leave a comment or kudos if you like don't if you don't and have a good day!

Castiel stands at the edge of the cliff facing towards the sea. He always liked coming here even before. He strains to hear the faint murmurings of his brothers and sisters once so loud now reduced to mere whispers inside his Grace. Not that he blames them, after all he had slaughtered so many of their kind. But still the aching loneliness prevails. 

Suddenly, he feels another's presence next to him. Castiel does not turn to look at his sister, as the wounds feel too raw. 

“Castiel,” she says, “I know it has been difficult for you lately.” He turns sharply towards her. 

“Difficult?” He practically seethes at her. “Ariel, you know nothing of which you speak.” 

“Perhaps not,” she admits carefully, “But I know you are slowly Falling bit by bit and you’ll be human before long.” 

At this Castiel face drops and he places his hands near his sides. “You think that I do not already know this? I am well aware of the consequences of turning against Heaven.” 

Ariel gives him a look which on a human he might have mistaken for pity, but they are of Heaven and there is no such thing as mercy for one such as him. Then she turns towards the sea and asks, “Why have you killed our brothers and sisters? For what purpose does this serve?” 

He feels the prevailing grief throughout her Grace and decides that Ariel at least deserves an answer to her question. It is the least he can do for her now. He points to a small boat off the shoreline with a few fishermen upon it. 

“For them,” he answers wearily. “I do it for humanity.”

“So you picked them over us is that it?” She asks aggressively, “It seems you traded one family for another Castiel.” 

Castiel stares at her as she continually faces towards the horizon. “Why did you come here Ariel? Why did you seek me out?”

She does not towards him, “The angel you killed today, I am assuming you did not know of him. He was Reuel, a righteous brother. He continually watched over humanity trying to keep them just, and you murdered him.”  
At this Castiel starts and attempts to say something, but despite knowing every language that there has ever been finds that he cannot think of what to say to her obvious grief. So, he states, “I am sorry for your loss.” 

Ariel does not say anything in reply, but as she turns to leave him she says, “Castiel, you have chosen to turn your back on us, do not expect any one of us to call you brother. From now on you are Fallen and your name is Unwritten from us as we do not know you any longer. You are Nameless now.” 

Before Castiel can call out, she is gone with only footprints on the grass as any evidence that she was there at all. Already, he can hear the already quiet voices fading from his Grace and he knows the implication of being Nameless. If he continues to Fall and become human and is still Nameless he will go mad.

As he stares at the space where Ariel used to occupy he feels more alone than ever.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all I'm risen from the dead and wrote this chapter to celebrate. Thanks for the continued support and reading.

His memories are beginning to slowly slip away like footprints in the sand. The harder he tries to cling the faster they seem to become nothing more than an empty space inside his head, only the distinct feeling that he used to know remains. Castiel no longer remembers the exact length of the pterodactyls or the fruit which Adam and Eve ate that caused Original Sin. While at present the memories lost are mostly superficial, eventually he will forget the color of Lucifer’s wings, how Balthazar was always quick of tongue as well as feet, and even why he Fell in the first place. 

“Hello, Earth to Cas.” Dean says and the sudden waving of his arm in front of Castiel’s face is enough to break him from his thoughts for a moment. “Are you listening? You've been zoned out for like half an hour.” 

“Ah my apologies,” Castiel replied still deeply entrenched within his own mind and memories. 

Castiel knows he should tell the Winchesters what to expect in the coming months, but becoming Nameless is a just punishment given all of the lives of his brothers and sisters that he has taken. The twisting and churning of his Grace, an almost human reaction, is the only indication of the deep seated guilt he is feeling. Castiel knows that the longer he stays the more danger the Winchesters will be in. After all he has been against them on occasion and if he starts to forget the present who knows what damage he may cause. By the time it becomes too late he will no longer remember why he had to leave in the first place. 

“Damn it, Cas! If you are not going to even pretend to help us with this hunt why even bother coming at all?” Dean said his brow furrowing. 

“Dean,” Sam said softly, “Leave him alone it obvious there is something on his mind, cursing at him won’t make it any better. We called Cas after all he didn’t ask to be here.”

“Maybe it is for the best if I go now, call me when you need me for battle,” the slight disturbance of air the only thing that followed Castiel. 

“Jesus, can you believe that Sam, guy hardly says anything not even bothering to pay attention and just leaves like that.” Dean said.

“Do you think something’s up with Cas?” Sam asked inquisitive. “He has been acting kinda weird lately.” 

“Yeah well, these days he hardly ever shows up when we call and he always seems out of it. On top of that the other day after telling him about that ghoul we were hunting in Topeka we went out to kill the bastard then Cas all of a sudden stopped in the middle of kicking its ass and had to ask what we were doing.” Dean raised his hand and raked it across his face, “Can you believe that, it nearly got me killed. I’ll tell you man I don’t know what’s going on with him, but it's making me antsy.”  


Sam gave a slight shrug in response, “Hard to know with Cas, could be nothing.”

“Or it could turn out to be like the last time Cas stopped answering our prayers and helping us.” Dean tilted his head and closed his eyes, “I don’t want to risk it. We should start asking around and see if anyone knows anything.”

“Where do you suggest we start doing that Dean? I mean we barely have anything to go on just a few random times of Cas zoning out and forgetting things I mean that’s hardly proof of anything. If it was you Dean I’d be more shocked it you didn’t forget for God’s sake.” Sam stared hard at his brother. 

“Exactly, this isn’t you or me we’re talking about here, this is Cas ,an angel of the Lord, shouldn’t it be almost impossible for him to forget things unless he’s under a spell or whatever else can even deal damage to him?” Dean sighed, “Something just doesn’t feel right here Sam, it seems like he’s hiding something.”

“I get that your worried about Cas, but,” Sam leaned back in his chair, “how are we going to find information about what could be wrong with him? Most angels are not exactly are biggest fans and if it is some sort of outside curse or hex he picked up here on earth wouldn’t he tell us about it?”

“That’s what I’m afraid of, what reason does Cas have to try and hide whatever’s wrong with him from us? It makes me think either he doesn’t know and is under some sort of curse or spell..” Dean started

“Or Cas does know exactly what’s wrong with him and doesn’t want us to know.” Sam craned his head to look at Dean, “That’s a lot of guesswork from very little evidence, are you sure about this?”

“Not really,” Dean admitted freely, “but I’ll be damned if I let Cas try to pull the wool over us again, after the last time I don’t think I could take it.” 

“Alright,” Sam opened up his laptop, “I’ll start looking into some lore, but if you’re wrong about this you’re the one who gets to explain it to Cas.”

“Deal. I’m gonna finish up the hunt solo while you work on that and then I’ll ring up an old friend who might know something.” Dean took his phone out of his pocket. 

Sam stopped typing, “Crowley?” 

“Crowley,” Dean confirmed. “I hate the bastard, but he’s got his fingers in almost every pie so he might know something.”

“Okay, call me if you need me.” Sam said. 

Dean opened the motel door said, “Will do,” and then shut it behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I'm not much of a fiction writer as I mostly just write academic papers, but I decided to take a go at it. I couldn't get this idea out of my head. Thanks for checking this out, write a comment if you feel like it, don't if you don't and have a good day!


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